Babies

It feels like I've babysat a lot this past weekend. Saturday night I spent the night with Tru (Pastor Dru and Trish's 2, almost 3, year old daughter) and today I spent the majority of the day with  Lohi, Nolani, and Kili (Liz and Kili's youngest kids. I probably slaughtered the spelling of their names). The more I think about the things they do and say the more I am amazed at God.

Tru: She and I were outside playing with some chalk and a soccer ball. She acted very sad all of a sudden and was holding her ball. "What's wrong, Tru?" I asked her. "My ball is sad, Feather. I think we need to pray for it." she responded. She bowed her head, crossed her little hands and talked to God. After putting the ball down for a nap she looked at me and said, "Feather, the ball is going to be ok. God will protect it. God will protect me too." In my head, I'm freaking out. How is it possible for a child to say this? She knows how to pray, she knows that God is always with her! So sick! It didn't stop there though. She went on to tell me how she is going to be nice to Hannah and John because Jesus loves them and that means she should love them too. How does she comprehend this? So insane! 

Lohi, Nolani, and Kili: I absolutely love these three kids. There is nothing more to say than that these kids are amazing. Nolani was dancing around to no music, Lohi was waiting her turn to be a ballerina and dance with music, and Kili was on my lap playing with my phone. Three year old Lohi started telling me that she was going to show me how a ballerina danced. "Like a princess?" I asked. "Yes!" she yelled. "Does that mean Nolani is a princess too? And Kili is the king?" I asked her. "No, Header. Kili can't be king. Only Jesus is King. Kili is a prince. I am a princess because Jesus is King." she replied. She said this as if I said 2+2=5 and she corrected me telling me it equalled 4. She even rolled her eyes!

These kids know God! They understand that he loves them. They understand that they are his children and that they are princes and princesses in the Kingdom of God and that one day they will have a castle of their own in Heaven! How can they so easily see and understand this but us as adults can't? Every time I see a child God shows me something new about Himself. He uses the things I love doing, watching, reading, etc. to reveal more of Himself to me. It totally makes sense. I know He does it all of the time. Why does it continue to surprise me? 

If only we could always have a child-like mind...How much more would we believe and trust in Him?

What are you doing?

I'm sitting in my bed, planning on reading my book (A History of Russia by Nicholas Riasanokvasky) but first I check my email. I reactivated my facebook for whatever stupid reason but sometimes it turns out to be good. I end up getting this invite for a group called Falling Whistles by a friend. I always know to read up on groups he invites me to because they are always about organizations doing something for God's Kingdom. So I go to the website and start reading....

Not even half way into reading the story of how the organization got started I was in tears. I could barely read by the end of it. It seriously broke my heart to read that story. What was it about? Children forced to fight in an army before they are even able to hold a gun. Instead of holding a gun, they are on the front lines with whistles. They are just a barricade for the other children with guns. Little kids who should be playing in yard or going to school or yelling at their siblings are starving, fighting for their lives, used as sex objects, stolen from their homes. 

It wasn't the first time I read about things like this but for some reason tonight it hit me so hard. What are we doing with our lives? What am I doing with my life? I don't understand why people aren't attempting to do more. Why are we so happy with the way our lives are while there are people...children dying, selling themselves to live just one more day, forced into lives they were never meant to live.

Isn't there something we can do? Not everyone is called to give up everything they have, move to another country, and be a full time missionary in that particular way but there is so much more we can be doing. 

God tells us countless times to go out in to the world and bring people to him. He tells us to feed the homeless, to help the helpless, to PROTECT His children. Jesus never once asked someone how they got sick or how they got on the streets.

Even if you aren't a follower of Christ, how is it not heartbreaking to see and hear the things going on in Russia, Africa, China, India, and so many more places that even I don't know about?

I recently read this book called Red Letters by Tom Davis. It completely changed my life. It talks about living a faith that bleeds. It is intense and heartbreaking and difficult to stomach sometimes but so worth it. I can't even explain how much I learned from those 150 or something pages. 

As Christians we read so many times about Jesus telling us to ask for something in prayer and we will be given it. What if we were committed to FAITHFULLY, WITHOUT doubts praying for these things? What would happen then? Things would change! The apostles weren't more Godly than the next person, they were just ridiculously faithful. They were able to perform miracles (by Jesus's name) but only because they had such a strong belief in Jesus himself that they knew He could do it through them. Every time you read about them healing someone, you read about how they had such a doubtless faith (of course there were many times where they doubted and fell short etc. but they were humans...that is to be expected). The point is we can do so much just through prayer alone. Maybe you aren't ready to give your time, money, possessions, etc. up just yet but you can still take a few minutes out of your day to remember the things that are going on in the world and pray for them. Pray without doubts.

There are thousands of organizations doing something more. Look for them. Here are a few that I am personally following regularly and committed to, at least in prayer.

http://www.hopechest.org/

http://www.fallingwhistles.com/

http://www.fivefor50.com/

http://tomdavis.typepad.com/

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/

Those are only a few. Research for yourself what is going on in the world and find organizations that are trying to help. I only pray that you will listen to God completely and obey Him joyfully. 

:)

So I have this amazing roommate. God is doing amazing things in her life. He's challenging her in ways that sometimes I don't even comprehend to be honest. Almost every night she comes home and we are about to go to bed she will ask me what God taught me today, what I learned through scripture, what are my prayers like, etc. She always catches me off guard, whether it's because I'm ready to pass out and go to bed or if it's because half the time I feel like I don't know how to answer her questions I'm not sure. A few nights ago she basically told me that I'm letting my pride get in the way of God's plan. My first thought was "Jenny, you're crazy. I'm so not prideful." She pointed out the fact that I don't ever ask God for things. I ask him to challenge me sure but not more than that. When I pray I usually spend the time praying for other people or guidance or direction (you get the picture). She pointed out the fact that I haven't asked God to send me to Russia, that I haven't prayed with urgency about that. 

Every Thursday morning we have staff devo at the Rock. Today was Mingo's turn to give the devo. As soon as I saw he was giving it I was so stoked, how can you listen to Mingo and not learn something amazing? He talked about 1 Samuel 26 and 27, about David taking the easy way out. David ran away to a place filled with people who he knew wouldn't challenge his faith. He was able to live a life filled with lies and get to the point where he was about to fight with Philistines against Israel! David hit rock bottom before he decided to seek God again but he didn't just seek God, he CRIED out to Him. He was on his face crying out to God, our Father. How willing was God to care for David and comfort him? God didn't make him feel bad or guilt trip him or anything like that. He simply told him what he needed to do. 

I started reading 1 Samuel today. I've read the beginning several times so I was actually going to skip over it and read where I hadn't before but God told me to start from the beginning of the book. So I did. We all know the story...Hannah couldn't have kids so she asked God to give her a child and she would give that child right back to God once the child didn't physically need her any more. I continued to read but God told me to read that story again. I read it like 3 times. I decided to read it a 4th time but started with praying to God first, asking Him to show me what I need to see because I can't do it on my own right now (like I ever can). I finally got somewhere!

These 3 things all came together today. I have been so afraid to ask God for anything fearing not that He wont giving it to me, but that He will!  How much more responsibility will I have once I asked God to take me away from this place and send me to Russia. What if I fail? What happens when I do? I was so afraid of disappointing God that I couldn't see by me not praying with urgency for this that I was disappointing Him. He wants to spoil me. He wants me to run to Him like I do my mom and dad on earth asking them for silly things but instead of asking Him for silly things He wants me to ask for His will for my life. Sure I had an idea of what it was but have I ever really asked Him to take me there now? Nope...I just figured I'm good where I'm at because I'm serving Him, doing His work, etc. I've been clinging on to control of my life and for what? What is it that I have been so afraid of? My true purpose revealed to me by the one who created me? While I was praying I realized it felt like it had been years since I prayed like this. It had been so long since I fell down on my face and just let go. It's time to stop being scared and just ask God for what I know He has called me to do and to send me where I know He has called me to be. 

So there it is...Prepare me for Russia God! Lord, send me! Reveal to me which city and orphanage to go to. Show me how to do it. I can't figure it out alone and I'm not going to try anymore.